I like the way the future happens in front of other stuff... like today and yesterday.
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“Miniature...
Anyone in baggy trousers and a white face who tried to ply their art anywhere within Ankh’s crumbling walls would very quickly find themselves in a scorpion pit, on one wall of which was painted the advice: Learn The Words.
Excellent advice from Guards! Guards! by Terry Pratchett.
I’ve never been on tv before! I hope I photograph okay. Because when I look into a mirror, there’s just a white haze…
Kenneth from 30Rock.
Surfer: Doin’ some target practice? Well, I’m gonna be surfin’ that break out there, so if you could just keep that baby south of the curl.
Hank: No worries, man. You’re not the dude I wanna kill.
Surfer: Cool.
Terriers: Hail, Mary
Jane:
Hellooo?! Anyone in?
Diana:
No. We're all dead and buried and gone to Hell.
Jane:
You've what?!
Diana:
Oh, never mind. I'm in no mood to ridicule and humiliate you today.
Jane:
Are you sick?
Diana:
Yes! I'm sick of everything. I'm sick of this place. I'm sick of my polymyalgia. I am sick of grubbing around in the dog-ends of existence for a half-smoldering butt that will give me that last hit before I slug down the final crate of anti-freeze and cast myself onto the bonfire of painful oblivion.
There you are! I’d begun to think you’d run off with some slutty Hooters waitress, gotten addicted to crystal meth and drowned in a pool of your own vomit—just like your father.
Mother from Episode 1 of Horrible People
Legend of Neil - 105: Map Questing
Old Man: When using the map, you should use ALL of it.
Neil: Mhm.
Old Man: Now, maybe these are your favorite parts, but this is important, too.
Neil: I didn’t know that was there.
Old Man: Maps show you where to go.
Neil: Okay.
Old Man: And on maps, things are smaller then they really are.
Neil: I know what scale is!
Legend of Neil - 202: Death in Store
Neil gets sucked into playing the money-making game…
Merchant: Oooh, negative 40!
Neil: C’mon!
Merchant: Beginner’s luck.
Neil: That’s not… that’s not what that means.
The Zombie Astronaut’s Frequency Of Fear - Episode 0.075: Beware of Fudd
Dwight Jr is not excited about summer camp.
Dwight Jr: But some people got a-killed here!
Dwight: Think of it like this, son, if a psycho-killer shows up this year, all that runnin’ through your life will work some of that fat off. Cuz you’re fat, son. The neighbors think you’re pregnant, that’s how fat you are.
Dwight Jr: But…
Dwight: No time to chat, son, your Mom and I need to get to the airport. We’re goin’ to DisneyWorld. We were just waitin’ til we could dump ya off somewhere before we took this trip.
Dwight Jr: DisneyWorld?!
Dwight: Thought we’d enjoy DisneyWorld more, if you weren’t with us, cuz ya bug us sometimes, ya see. We’ll be back in two weeks.
Dwight Jr: But, camp’s only for a week!
Dwight: That’s why we gave ya a tent, son.
That’s why we gave ya a tent.
The Zombie Astronaut’s Frequency Of Fear - Episode 0.075: Beware of Fudd
Orderly: If you don’t pick up your paper and follow me to your room immediately, I’ll break your pinky fingers and check your prostate with them!
Mr Brainulous: Seriously, you must be made of kittens and rainbows. Wait a second… do you mean break my pinkies and twist my arms around behind me? Or break them completely off and stick them up my… you… you know?
Dude, you asked me to find out about a criminal, alright? Most criminals live in areas with low median property values ……..and crime.
Skeeter The Good Guys: $3.52
In my latest bid to multitask, I’ve begun watching silent films while listening to the radio. As a result, I now find myself watching Buster Keaton hop from the roofs of train cars, as a German scientist on the CBC explains the possibility of the earth one day being engulfed by the sun. This leaves me feeling confused, not knowing whether to feel amused or existentially terrified. As it turns out, the sensation is not that different from the way I feel most of the time anyway.
Jonathan Goldstein WireTap: Splendours of the Small Screen
Julius, the relationship between a detective and a snitch is a sacred bond. Now, when you don’t return my calls, you make me chase you out of parking garages… you violate that sacred bond.
Detective Dan Stark, The Good Guys: $3.52
John Haplin: Well, that was difficult to describe and… impossible to duplicate.
That’s the wonderful Steven Weber as John Haplin. From Happy Town: Blame It On Rio Bravo. Watch it at hulu.
Baby Boy: Are you like… James Bond or something?
Merritt Grieves: If James Bond had lion-crushing strength and commanded an army of the undead, then… Yes, I am.
From Happy Town: Blame It On Rio Bravo. Watch them on hulu.
That’s Sam Neill as Merritt Grieves. He’s terrific in this role… it takes me back to Reilly: Ace of Spies. That series placed him firmly in my list of favorite actors. He’s able to convey so much in the tiniest movement or expression, like another of my favorites, Gabriel Byrne.
